2 more days till school

I've said this a million times, but I can't believe that Logan is going to be starting Kindergarten this week. Tomorrow is his orientation. It's just amazing that over five years have passed since he was born. It just doesn't seem possible. There are so many things I miss that I'll never get back. Holding him at night and rocking him to sleep is the biggest. Being silly and just laughing all the time is the other thing that I miss. It's fun to do things with him and watch him read, knowing that he's this person with his own ideas and his own sense of what he wants to do. It's frustrating and beautiful at the same time. It's as if there's a piece of me that is no longer attached. When you watch things happen to your kids, it feels no different than if it happens to you.

We spent a couple of days at Disneyland last week, because were on the verge of expiring, and I realized I spent so little time looking at the rides around me. All I wanted to see was the fun and joy on Logan's and Rowen's faces. I won't miss Disneyland because it was fun for me, it was, but my happiness was watching the kids have fun. In fact, I don't remember the last time I went on a grown up ride there, several months. I was sad that they didn't reopen Small World before our passes expired.

Anyway, it's time to put Rowen down for a nap, I just felt a little overwhelmed at the combination of joy and sadness that I feel as Logan prepares for school. Another chapter in his life is over. He depends on me just a little less. There's one less string attaching him to me. I'm so grateful for the time I've had with him and that I've been able to be home to watch him grow and learn. And I'm really glad Fullerton doesn't have all day Kindergarten.